When we were children, we remember how the atmosphere we had at home made a big impact on how we dealt with our life every day until we became grownups. The type of environment our parents created for the family helped mould us to be the person we are today. Building a positive home for your kids is the one thing you have full control over as you raise them to become successful adults.
I was blessed to grow up in a happy home where my parents showed us all the love and encouragement throughout our childhood. Now that I am a mom, I aim to pass on that blissful feeling to my husband and kids. You see, when children are raised in a warm and loving home, they develop to become happy and confident people in the future.
I have had friends, also moms, who were nurtured in not-so positive environments growing up. The damage of being raised in a negative home seems to have affected their lives forever. And because they know how it feels, they chose a different path for the family they are raising now. From them, I learned that when you don’t grow up in a happy home, you are hurt emotionally. Your social skills are formed in a way where life becomes challenging every day. The relationships you see at home are what you will accept as your own. Anxiety and depression emerges from unhappy homes.
Establish a foundation of a cheerful and forward-looking home through these tips that I have proven myself to work.
- Make Coming Home Happy Every day
Happiness starts at the door where you greet your loved ones every day. More than saying goodbye, welcoming them with affection and enthusiasm impacts their mood.
If I am home first and the husband arrives from work, I would stop whatever I am doing and tell my kids “Dad is home!” The kids then run to the door to greet him with bounciness and sweet kisses. As a mom, I have always been fond of watching this beautiful scene unfold before my eyes, over and over again. The same practice is observed when my eldest comes home from school. No talk of work, assignments, or other undone chores is exchanged through that door.
- Choose The Right Words and Expressions
Stupid, dumb, ugly, and jerk are words that should have NO place in your happy home. Although we cannot control what our kids hear outside the house, such negativity should stop where happiness starts at your home.
We consider our house as our family’s safe space. As much as possible, we do not welcome negativity in this place. It is normal, however, for siblings to fight but it should be something that can be fixed over a snack of milk and cookies. When the parents argue, we make sure our kids don’t witness it as it can affect their view on relationships. Create a positive and safe environment at home by limiting the children’s use of electronics (i.e. TV shows, unguided internet browsing, social media, and even music) that can influence their choice of language. (Read: How to Control Kids in Using Electronic Devices)
- Shower Them With Encouragement and Affection
Some parents think that they need to have this stern image so they can discipline their kids. But fear is not tantamount to respect. It is more than okay to be affectionate to your kids. In fact, they need it at this age more than ever.
As a mom, I feel like I cannot live a day without hugging my boys. They could be two little devils one day and the sweetest angels the next. Either way, I show them the same amount of affection because it is my way of reminding them that my love is here to stay. The warmth of a mother’s love is long term and unconditional. They know that I will be there to support them even as they grow families of their own.
- Value Quality Time and Relaxation
We are living in a fast-paced world today. Parents work hard while the children study hard all for a better future. Sometimes, we forget how relaxation is important to keep a well-balanced and healthy life.
My husband and I have our own means of de-stressing from work. Of course, we also consider the pressure our boys feel at their tender age. There are a lot of things going on throughout their day and we want to make our home a place where they can relax and prepare for another day. We always give them their independent me-time before dinner. Most often, my eldest does his school work but often times, we find ourselves sitting together and spending our quality time as a family.
- Be The Model of Happy Relationships
Have you noticed how children notice every little thing you do? As the grown-ups in the house, they look up to you as models. They mimic your words and actions and apply them to their daily lives. Exhibiting a positive behaviour at home result to your kids becoming respectful, confident, and caring young adults in the future.
I love my husband as much as he loves me and our children see it every day. We try our best to be confident adults whom our kids look up to. They encourage us to understand our weaknesses and mould ourselves to become a better people. This is the positive effect a happy home brings.